It’s a good thing I took these pictures a few days earlier, because right after publishing my body positive post, my heart was shattered, and I took a major hit to my confidence. As soon as it happened, my first thought was that I was gross, repulsive, and I didn’t like anything about myself at all. My posture changed, and I kept walking around with my shoulders hunched and my head down. I stayed in bed when I could, completely covered. I was embarrassed to look in the mirror. I even thought it was the end of blogging and singing for me, because I didn’t feel confident enough to do either; taking pictures was an impossibility for me.
Just like that, I thought my whole life was completely destroyed, and I was trying to figure things out to go with my new life, like how long I could live with my parents, and if I could work at Wal-Mart for the rest of my life. I cried every second that I wasn’t in public, and I reminded myself of my worthlessness every chance that I got. That was just how things made sense to me: I was not loved because I was not worth loving. Unfortunately, I’m a glass half empty kind of girl.
But I spoke to some good people, and I prayed a lot. Then I cried even more. And I woke up today feeling closer to my old self. I’m still heartbroken (who knows how long that will last, I’ve never been through one of these heartbreak things before). But I understand it’s not my fault. I am a beautiful person, on the inside and out, and I was very good to Mr Meanypants the entire time I knew him. But he was incapable of loving, and incapable of commitment, so he pulled away. I don’t even blame him at this point. We are all just people trying to figure things out. I hope I never blame the actions of a man on myself or any woman, ever again.
Now, it’s wedding season, for all those lucky ones who are not part of the completely unattractive club (I really do think I’m funny.) If you are like me, always a bridesmaid but never a bride (song lyrics, I’ve never been a bridesmaid before either) you need to show up! After all, weddings are perfect hunting grounds for the right one!
This flowy floral maxi dress, paired with a floral purse and black sandals is the perfect outfit to keep the season in mind, taking floral to the next level. Don’t be afraid to pair two different kinds of the same print together: floral goes with floral. It just does! And who knows, maybe the flowers in your outfit will draw the bride’s bouquet right to you! It’s worth a shot.
depressed and well dressed 