If you are looking for ways to support the Black community and Black Lives Matter beyond donating and marching, here are six easy things you can do to combat racism within yourself!
1. Believe Black people’s experiences. Validation can change someone’s entire outlook on life. When my depression was validated by my therapist it changed my life entirely, and gave me the strength and confidence to start fighting my illness. In the same way, validating a Black person’s experiences can change the way they affect us. You can literally change the outcome of someone’s experience by just believing that it happened. We don’t make things up. In fact, we’d much rather not experience racism, so no we don’t make things up for pity points. Statistics show that we have to deal with racism, prejudices, assumptions, inconveniences, judgements, microaggressions, etc from our very conception. Please, as an ally, don’t make things harder by forcing us to prove this to you. You also shouldn’t have to experience it yourself to believe it. Lastly on this point, just because something doesn’t seem racist to you doesn’t mean that it isn’t; even if it’s unintentional, it can still be very hurtful and dangerous. Here’s an example not involving race: Years ago, I had gone shopping with a friend of mine who considered herself overweight. I asked to visit a particular store, and she asked to steer clear of it – her last visit to the store ended with her being bullied about her weight. I asked her exactly what had happened, and she told me they kept making mention of the fact that they had more sizes in the back. I believed her experience. I didn’t argue about how they were probably “just doing their jobs” or “being friendly.” I just believed her. After all, she considered herself overweight, while I was quite the opposite at the time. As people, we know when we are being mistreated, and we can often sense why. Especially if we have been who we are our entire lives. So just believe us.
2. Defend Black people. It’s as simple as that, and for bonus points, don’t defend racists from being labelled as racists, or from the accompanying rage they must face for having that title. This is especially something I see white women do, a lot. “But I didn’t know that was racist!” And no one should expect you to spot anti-black behaviour, especially if it’s never happened to you. But if a Black person shares with you that they are experiencing racism, and you 1. believe them! then follow through and stand up for them. Speak up against it, or just show your support while they speak up for themselves. And DO NOT switch sides to defend the accused racist because you feel bad for how they are being treated. Why would you feel worse for the racist than the victim? That is the quickest way to invalidate all the allyship you’ve ever shown, and in fact, doing this can uphold the system of white supremacy said racist is operating under.
3. Don’t use the n-word. Don’t use the n-word. Don’t use it. Do. Not. Use. The. N. Word. Disclaimer: I personally understand that there is a lot of confusion surrounding the word, even within the Black community. Some Black people use it, while some are against it. Some of us put it in our music, while some of us don’t. Some Black people even give “the pass” to their non-Black friends to use it, as though they speak for our entire race (they do not). Quite frankly, just don’t use it if you are not Black, or if you are Black but not Black passing. No matter your personal experiences with the word, or racism, whether you are white or a non-Black person of colour, if you are not Black the history of the word, and the hate it carries, simply doesn’t affect you. If the word slips out of your non-Black mouth while you are singing a song, I personally don’t think you should be “cancelled indefinitely.” But if you proceed to defend your right to say it because it’s “unfair” that Black people can and you can’t, goodbye. People who stand by those arguments are a) completely blind to the unfairness that is racism in and of itself, and b) operating under the belief that they should be able to do anything Black people can do and more, even though Black people can’t do everything non-Black people can do. That is the thought process of someone who believes, subconsciously or otherwise, that they are superior to Black people. If those sentiments do not resonate with you, but you still don’t see why you can’t use the word, the simplest answer is that it’s mean. It’s a bad word. If someone asked you to stop saying fa****, or cu**, or bi***, or re****, or ch*** etc, you wouldn’t ask why, or protest that you have heard other people use those words before so you should be able to (or you have, and you’re an idiot). Ask yourself why you don’t automatically afford Black people the same decency when it comes to the n-word. Ask yourself why it may be the only slur you FIGHT to use. Then don’t ever use it again.
4. Don’t equate being less Black to being more beautiful. This means, don’t believe or uphold more Eurocentric beauty standards. Straight hair IS NOT prettier than kinky hair. Lighter skin IS NOT more beautiful than darker skin. Mixture DOES NOT make Black DNA better. Don’t tell Black women they can’t wear certain colour lipsticks (especially when Black skin comes in every colour, but I digress). Don’t tell Black people they need to have certain hair textures to be professional, or elegant. Don’t use the term lightskin as a compliment. It’s hurtful and it’s hateful. Beliefs like this perpetuate anti-blackness so much, and so subtly, that I think they are some of the most harmful beliefs of all.
5. Don’t appropriate Black culture. Don’t appropriate our slang, our clothes, our music, our anything. Especially not our hair. In a perfect world, I understand that we would all be able to appreciate – not appropriate – each other’s cultures. I could wear a bindi, and you could wear box braids. But this is not a perfect world, and in this world, if you consider yourself a good person, then it is disrespectful to Black people for you to pay to look like, or get praised for looking like, what we are getting killed for looking like.
6. BLACK PRIDE UP AHEAD.
This tip is an important one, and it is for Black people only. Black people, Love Your Blackness. Be obsessed with it. Don’t try to lighten your skin, or straighten your hair, or contour your nose, or put your head down. Be unapologetically Black! We are people of such caliber, such skill, such talent, beauty, intelligence, poise, swag, grace, compassion, power, resilience, that the world has tried to be us and/or destroy us since they found us. We need to know that all things Black beautiful, and that Black lives don’t simply matter. Our lives built the very world we live in, and we make the world turn. We create language, movement, art, technology. We influence any and everything. We are Black people, and we are everything.
These are just a few of the many things you can do to combat racism, as the greatest changes in this world start from within. Don’t be afraid to be imperfect. Be afraid to refuse to learn and change. Much love! Black Lives Matter.
depressed and well dressed 