I haven’t posted in a while, and quite frankly, even now as I write, I am having trouble deciding what to write. What can I say, I am actually doing alright. I have been feeling myself slowly getting better. That doesn’t mean there is no sadness, no tears, no feelings of loneliness or hopelessness. There are! But I find myself reacting to these things that make me sad, not in a depressed way, but in a sad way. Let me explain. I recently got my heart broken by a meany-pants. At 25 years old, he was the first person I have ever fallen in love with, and I had all my “firsts” with him. I have cried so much, I don’t think I will ever cry again. I’ve cried so much, I literally changed the anatomy of my face temporarily (eyes so puffy they were a completely different shape, nose so red I’m Rudolph now.) I cried all night, and changed my social media bios to depressing quotes, and let the world know I was completely and utterly heartbroken. And every time I thought I was finally alright, I cried again. But I did this because I am sad. Not depressed. The depressed me would have cried, drank, and slept, never leaving my bed. The sad me cried, got words of advice from all of my friends, went out to make myself feel better, went to the gym a lot, and ate chocolate with my mom. What I’m saying is my coping mechanisms are slowly shifting. I am obviously not perfect! I still have depression, and perhaps I always will. As Mr Meany-Pants once said to me, there will always be a winter. But, at least for now, I feel (dare I say it) HAPPY!
Even the snow doesn’t depress me anymore:
This outfit mixes a simple and clean black and white look with a bright burst of colour! Just what you need to say, I am coping with this weather quite nicely, but I am not A PART of this weather. Deep, eh?
depressed and well dressed 