It’s been a while. And in that while, I’ve gone through a few changes. I have a few new piercings, a few new pieces of clothing. Most recently and favourably, I shaved my head impulsively, and have never felt more beautiful!
Initially, I was cutting my hair in stages. First I cut the weave out. Then I cut my hair into a teeny weeny afro (twa for short, pun intended). Then one night, I was sucked into watching hours of women impulsively shaving their heads on YouTube, and I was sold. I cut out my braids and shaved the front of my head. Then I had a panic attack, because it was shorter than I wanted, but ultimately, I couldn’t be a lame person, unable to cut my hair, so I went through with it, like I had a choice.
It was pretty short, and I cried. I thought my boyfriend would leave me, I thought I had ruined whatever future career I would fall into. But after freaking out for 24 hours, I loved it! I felt like a model! I felt like a strong woman. And I felt like someone who didn’t “need” hair to be cool/beautiful/sexy etc. In fact, suddenly it wasn’t short enough, and I had to buzz it!
So, against almost everyone’s advice, I had my brother cut it even shorter, and that was it! I feel the most beautiful I have ever felt. I feel pretty like Lupita, I feel strong like the Tomb Raider. I feel proud to know I was willing to risk a bad haircut for a possibly amazing one. I am not my hair. I love my big hair, but it does not define me. It is certainly empowering to know that loving something about yourself and needing it are different!
depressed and well dressed 